I married a man who was 8 years younger than me. He was 26 years old. I had two children. He led a very sheltered life, but I thought he was the man of my dreams. He treated me so differently then the other men in my life had. He had a one night affair, five years into the marriage. One night only but many days in the making, I'm sure. Did I forgive him. Yes. But by this time my children were adults. I gave up everything for him to start our marriage over in a new state. Things weren't always easy, but I loved him. Here it is 23 years into the relationship. I go home to visit my family for two weeks. He finds a female "friend" who listens to him at his job. He erases her telephone numbers from his cell phone before I get back, goes out to have a drink with her and her husband...did I forget to mention he is 48 years old and she's 31? He walks on her beach, but says he doesn't do it to see her. Just wants to walk on a different beach. He does everything different than in the last 23 years in just two weeks. We talk. I ask what he found so different about her and did he say anything personal to her about me. Yes, he told her that I didn't give him much attention. This is from a man who is gone most of the summer (when this happened) doing his job. He comes home every night but his job is the love of his life. I am always second on his list. I cry, I scream, I fall apart, but he says he loves me and not her. He can't remember any conversations relating to what he said about me. But can remember talking to her about work. So, yes, I forgive him again, but with two stipulations. No more personal conversations...she's a student of his so therefore, he has to continue teaching her, and lastly, they can't ride together in a vehicle anymore. Is this too much to ask. The very next day I go to surprise him for lunch, after all he says I don't give him attention, and what do I find? He has told her our entire conversation from the night before and she's getting into the truck with him. I slap him and tell him to come home and pack his bags. But I decide to talk to her. She "said" she didn't know he felt anything for her and that she has been happily married for nine years. Did I forget to mention that he also told me that he would kiss her if given the chance....but he doesn't "love" her. He loves me and wants it to work out. I don't know what to do anymore. I have two grandchildren whose parents split up and they aren't over that. Nannie and Papa will be married forever. That's what I have always told them. I am so grief stricken over this. How can I ever trust this man again. I feel nothing. I spent a childhood of being molested by numerous men, have been married three times, and thought this was the man of my dreams. He says he will NEVER do it again. I tell him not to tell me that because that's what he said the first time. No, he didn't have an affair this time, but to me it is the same..infidelity doesn't mean sex. He threw me under the bus for her...protecting her. He cries and says he did a stupid thing and regrets it. I can't afford marriage counseling, I can't afford to go to a mental health clinic....it's a man's world. I hate all of them and wish I were dead. He can't tell me what I did. I must have done something so wrong to make him turn to another woman. He says no. It is all on him. His fault..............